July 2012

Irritably walking my puppy dog in a humid park and enduring the consequences of having not trained him properly, icky rain falls unnoticed before a filter of disappointment through which I’ve come to view life. All a bitter blur.

Money, lack thereof. Work, I don’t much like it.
Bottomless battle for control; lists and schedules, budgets and inventories. I am losing.

Toe jam muddy water squishing in worn out jogging shoes, I ponder:

Worst case scenario – I am not cut out for life in this day and age. I’m a weak link in evolution and thus this chain must be broken here and now. In your capitalistic society this individual simply could not make the cut.

Best case scenario – I am an idealist who refuses to subjugate himself to man’s slow pace. My reality is one of the future, of development and compassion. I won’t accept being valued as a person based on my ability to generate turnover in the meat grinder modern man currently submits to. Undignified pursuit of selfish gain and the defining of oneself by simple skills is good and proper in carnivore versus herbivore actuality, but not where I come from.

Either way;

Alone doing the wheelbarrow race sans limbs in mountainous terrain, face plowing ever deeper. Weak crimson confining dust to a barren furrow.

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